When I began again, it was just a few days before the 2015 New Year. My house was still full of Christmas goodies and I was once again thinking of my same New Year resolution. The same one that I’ve had since I was 13. This time felt different though. I’d had enough. I had been making small changes with the quality of our food choices over the years and slowly changing the way we viewed our food, but I had yet to address the one thing that matters most. Calorie intake.
So it was time. Time to face the harsh reality of how much food I was actually eating. Time to stop fighting the only proven sustainable method of weight loss and just give in to and trust the process. Trust that as long as I kept going, I would succeed. Trust that I was strong enough to change. Accept that it didn’t matter how long it took as long as I was still trying. Accept that I would have bad days when I wouldn’t want to care. Accept that there is no easy way or quick fix. Fight for who I wanted to be. Fight for who I knew I could be.
And this time I chose to keep it to myself. I didn’t blog about it here. I didn’t talk about it to many people in the beginning. I was very internal about it. I wanted to do things differently from how I had ever done them before, because the before had obviously never worked. This time I had set my mind to it. It was no longer a matter of “I’m trying to lose weight”, it was “Come hell or high water, I’m going to lose the weight.”
So I did, and I still am.
I have lost 50 lbs this year with about 20 more to go.
As I’m fast approaching my 1 year mark and again, like we all seem to do, have been looking back at all I’ve accomplished this year. I’m not at my “goal” yet but I’m closer than I ever thought I would be again. I’ve learned that goals change as you change. I know that this is a never ending journey. I’ve accepted that I will always have to care and there is no going back but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love the person that I’m becoming, because it is the person that I’ve always wanted to be.
Note: A High Five and a Thank You! to my husband who has been a huge source of support and encouragement from the start.